On March 4th I lost my mother...I literally feel as if I lost her , as in I left her unattended and I lost her...She was not alone...she was with one of my wonderful, beautiful nieces...in good hands, and with medical personnel. She was not alone and I did not misplace her...she died...most unexpectedly...And now I am trying to survive that greatest of losses.
Mom was one of God's miracles. She had a book called "Making Miracles" that she read from every day. She told me that if she read the affirmations she found there often enough, they would become part of her. So, in the early morning quiet, before she had to deal with doctor's and tests, on the day she died, she shared again from her book. She practically knew the pages by heart but it was in the sharing that she was comforted.
These are a couple of the affirmations that were especially important to her on that day...
"This is the day the Lord has made. I shall rejoice and be glad, be gladder than glad. I give myself permission to see all the happiness that is in my world, to think of the happiness, and to speak of the happiness. The Creator has filled the world with unlimited joy that is mine for the taking." (p. 41)
It's the happiness thing...she wanted everyone to be happy! She tried to spread happiness in so many ways...to her family, friends, and even the clients she worked with,,,Because even at 83 she was taking care of others, sharing parts of their world and dropping nuggets of joy wherever she could.
The second reading was about determination. It speaks of all those tremendous qualities that were the embodiment of our mother...
"My spirit is rich..." all that she gained from these affirmations was not to keep something precious for herself , but to give away.Her determination to share joy, love, forgiveness, enthusiasm...that was what amazes me the most about her. She copied this quote from somewhere, " Faith grows out of love, and is inseparable from courage." In her life she was the most courageous woman I've ever known.
Her spirit was indomitable...not to be broken. Her faith was unwavering. Regardless of her circumstances, she was filled with faith for God and was certain of His power in her life. It was that faith that gave her also the sweet gentle spirit that was her sharing point with all of us.
When I was little, sometimes our days were difficult and we moved very frequently because Dad was in the Air Force. In spite of that, Mama taught rootedness in other ways...
She made her space, wherever that was, beautiful...Always she found a place to make a little garden. She would fill it with nasturtiums, marigolds, sweet peas and morning glories.
She taught us to pray and to expect a miracle.
She spent hours crocheting wheels of doilies for her tables and I am very certain she prayed for someone with every working of her crochet hook...
She would sing songs, like "Catch a falling Star, Put it in your pocket, and never let it go..." Another one of her little lessons.
She put as much beauty as she could in every dark corner of her life and the lives of those around her.
More recently she made beautiful weavings and quilts... My sisters, my brother, and I ...we are my mother's quilt. We are made of different colors, shapes, with our own points and curves, but together we make a whole block...one our mother has infused with her tremendous love...Her message was one always of love and peace. She was a very special lady, determined to seek the light. I am honored to have had her as my mother.
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